Yosemite 2016

Once again it's...

Yosemite time!!!

As awesome as this photo is, it took Emily an entire year to send me
the trip pics from last year so don't get your hopes up for any sweet photos people!

We're less than 2 weeks away from that magical time of year when the cell phones get turned off and the locals get turned on.

Dustin Slade mingling with a local stud during the 2015 trip.

Last year was an amazing trip and we all had a blast. This year Jeff Katz and Jessica Lee won't be able to make it back :(

But we do have some new additions!

Tyler and Erin Slade, taking some much needed r&r between baby-making sessions are coming this year!

Erin is a mother of 2 and is extremely loving and patient. Tyler is know for having fun and also for his HUGE...

I've lived with the Slade brothers and believe me, Tyler has
more hard inches of calculator than brothers Dustin and Jesse combined. 

This is of course an inside joke with a double meaning. First, I went to Tyler's office recently and on his desk discovered a calculator so large, it's gas powered and takes two people to operate it. I asked Dusty to send me an actual photo of it, but evidently, like Emily's trip pics, I'm going to have to wait until next year. The second part of the joke... well you get it.




In his pre-fatherhood days, Tyler was always down to party.

Dustin's older brother, Tyler Slade, shown here celebrating at his annual 9/11 party. 

 Sarah Le and Jeff Blackwell are awesome and we're all stoked they're coming!

Sarah Le & Jeff Blackwell
(and looking at the background representing the 818 I might add)

Sarah will impress everyone with her chicken/turkey vulturing skills.
She can take a bony, discarded carcass and make 17 more meals out of it.

Sarah also loves photography and she takes hundreds of photos per second. Her work tends to be more abstract.

Sarah once took 859 pictures in under 3 seconds. 

Christina is sassy, loves talking shit, and possesses the empathy of a rusty guillotine blade. So it only makes sense she's finishing her Master's to be a Marriage Family Therapist!


Tre is from Hawaii and has a beautiful 5 year old daughter named Jamison.

Christina "Ratatouille" Payton and Tre
(Tre is short for Ralph Phineas Theodore Wellington III... I'm guessing)

Of course Kristen and I are coming. We've been training really hard for this trip and we're looking as perfect as ever.

Kristen hitting it hard during a routine lasagna training session.

Allison and her new man, Troy, are coming! Allison is Kristen's bestie and we love her a ton.

The only logical explanation I can come up with is Troy descended
from the heavens on a cloud full of unicorns and is now somehow dating Allison.

Allison once spent 37 straight hours trying to lick her own ear. 

With Allison, the party goes on til the break-a-break-a dawn!

Dustin Slade, like spaghetti, is straight until he gets hot.

Dustin, looking frustrated after finding out they do criminal background checks
before you can become an ice cream truck driver. 

Dustin, pulling off the extremely fashionable "Peruvian Local" look,
so popular in 3rd world countries across the world.
His "viendose fabuloso" (looking fabulous) style includes:
$300 Goretex jacket with collar popped,
$175 responsibly sourced army green satchel,
$25 "no fluoride blacktooth" mouthpiece,
and $5.00 extra foamy latte. 

National Geographic lost out on a bid to Jared from Subway,
who paid Emily Slade $5,000 for this breathtaking photo.  

Everyone's favorite popstar Emily is coming back!

Emily was unanimously voted everyone's favorite person on the trip last year. Her positive attitude and bright smile make the trip so much fun! Photography is one of her many talents, just don't count on receiving any trip photos from her $9,000 camera that takes Ansel Adams quality pictures and can zoom in to a gnat's testicle hair from across Yosemite Valley.







Still assholes and not coming once again:

Dishonorable Mention:

Nick Hillman

Nick brings the party with him so hopefully he comes one of these years.
I suppose living out of State and having 2 kids with another on the way is a valid excuse for now. 

Jesse and Hallie Slade

In Jesse's defense, the last time I took him camping, in order to survive
the perilous, snowy, wind-driven night, he had to do things with another man that Ted Cruz and
the North Carolina government agree will get you a one-way ticket straight to hell. 

I'm looking forward to the trip and can't wait to spend time with you all! Thanks for being good sports and letting me roast you all before the trip and I hope you are as excited as I am! It's going to be amazing!!!